In a man’s head are a few switches. Here’s how he works when these switches get flipped.
His build switch. When this switch gets flipped he begins to fix; he tears down, moves rubble and builds. This switch flips when he hears a problem. That’s why listening is difficult. You voice a concern just to vent and be heard, the build switch flips and he tries to fix you. It is hard for him to do nothing.
His fight switch. Flip this switch and fur flies. His emotions evaporate and he seeks to destroy. Good if you are attacked in a parking lot, bad if he sees you as the enemy. This is why he can say mean things about you, the kids, the house. He may regret actions later, but now it’s search and destroy. A husband needs to manage his warrior switch. A wife needs to avoid it. In some men this switch is too easily flicked and their aggression is too severe, these men are abusive and need help. They should be avoided.
His charm switch. His most beguiling switch connects to his needs. He needs comfort, encouragement, and love; when those needs arise his charm switch flips and the romantic gentleman appears. His needs fall under the categories of food, comfort, encouragement, and sex. When these go unmet for along time his building switch flips. When that fails his warrior switch flips. When allowed to access his emotions he can funnel them through his charm circuitry and avoid the building and warrior switches, when he can’t, look out.
Men little understand these switches, only that they work. He is either building, fighting, or needing. The more he learns about these switches the better he can control their results. These switches are why men are doers and not talkers. It is why they like sports. Sports combine building – the game plan – and fighting – the game.
Because of these switches men find it hard to understand women. He can learn, but it takes time and teaching, and a little less switch flipping.
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