Marriage Tip: Trash Talk

Keep from trashing your spouse.

Trash Talk

Trashing your spouse to someone damages your marriage in several ways.

• What we feed grows.  Trash talk reinforces the negatives in your mind making you feel worse about your spouse and marriage.
• It alters memories.  Research shows that the more a marriage spirals down, the more we select bad memories.  Eventually, bad memories dominate and reinforce the idea our marriage is doomed.
• It adds agreement to your thoughts.  Power of agreement is strong and telling someone about your spouse’s bad points causes that person to agree with you.
• It makes a new enemy for your spouse exposing him/her to more criticism.
• It sows a destiny. Thoughts become words, words become actions that create destiny.
• You no longer protect your marriage, you open it to criticism.
• You reinforce faith that your marriage will crash.
• Finally, you lose respect in the eyes of others.

Think on positive qualities of your spouse. If you need help it is fine to say, “Our marriage needs work,”  but you need not criticize your spouse. Get help from someone capable.  If you must talk to a friend to vent, be general, but refrain from dissing your spouse. Write us.

How to be a Good Husband

Hey Guy.  A few tips to make her happy — and eventually you, too!

• Get home from work at a decent hour.  Ask her what’s decent.
• Sit down for 5 minutes and tell her something about your day and how you feel about it.
• When you talk to her, look at her.
• Play with the kids.
• Help with dinner.
• Pay her a compliment.  Think clothes, hair, face, jewelry, what she means to you.
• Be present when home.
• Make her feel she is first in your life.

Ladies and Men, if you have suggestions, please send them in.