Broken Trust part 2

Healing Trust

Healing Trust

Part one talked about broken trust and how it damages a marriage.  Here are a few more tips to heal broken trust.

Forgive
Choose to forgive anyone who hurt you.  Try to see the breach from their viewpoint, maybe they did not intend to hurt you and are blind to your pain.  After forgiving – you are not condoning their action, just cleansing your heart – find a positive thought about that person.  If possible talk with them, but no need to stir up ancient history.

Promise
Another way to build trust is through small acts.  Make a small promise with your spouse and then keep it.  “Friday we will do dinner and see a movie.”  Keeping promises rebuilds trust.

Make A Swap

If you make shoes yet need a coat and meet a shoeless person who makes coats, you can swap goods.  If you are happy with your swap trust develops, if the coat is cheap trust fractures.  Find what your spouse needs and think of how you can meet that need, then make a swap. Discuss what you each value and then determine to honor each other’s value.  If a wife values listening, then husband makes a concerted effort to listen, if he values touch then give a hug.


Delayed Reaction

Your swap may not reciprocate immediately.  For example, a wife may encourage her husband and not receive her return right a way.  Yet, next week she may need his assurance and he gives it.  It is this expectation that strengthens trust.  Expecting Laura to be there for me enables me to live in a pool of trust.


Four More Healing Ways

Create
a healing environment.  Discuss making your home a safe place where trust can grow. Develop hope in people. Target ways to strengthen hope interacting with someone safe. Reduce competition.  Eliminate any competition between you and your spouse, include your children.  Begin a plan to believe the best of yourself. Determine to offer compliments to reveal the best of each other.  CoachOurMarriage
Do you have tips to develop trust?  Share them by
writing us.

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